For Men Only

IF YOU FIND OUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS PREGNANT
"I'm pregnant". You hoped you would never hear those words, but now they're ringing in your ears. The decision to have sex has now impacted at least three lives: yours, your girlfriend's, and the baby she now carries.

What you do next will go a long way in proving the man you are and want to be. Although you may not have control over the situation, you do have choices that will affect others. And when you look back, what will matter most is how you conducted yourself as a man.

You have five basic choices:

You can parent the child with your girlfriend. Raising a child is rewarding and difficult at the same time. Being a parent tests you physically and emotionally like nothing else. But being a man means you must think about what is best for your child.
You can help her form and carry out an adoption plan. Your problem can be someone else's blessing. You can't force the choice, but you can play a big part by suggesting to your girlfriend that she consider and explore this option. In later years, you can look back and know that you offered true leadership and hope for your girlfriend and your baby.
You can suggest or demand your girlfriend get an abortion. Your girlfriend can make this decision without you, but before she does, you can help her receive all the information she needs to make an intelligent decision. The decision to abort is permanent and there are consequences involving your girlfriend, and you. Abortion may seem like the easy solution, but it will, in the long run, become the hardest road to walk for both of you.
You can keep quiet and leave the decision up to her. It took two to make this baby and it takes two to make a healthy decision about what to do next. Contact the Center to talk with someone who can give you factual information. Both male and female counselors are available to talk with you individually or as a couple.
You can walk out. This may seem like the easiest option, but consider this--though you may leave your girlfriend and your baby, you can never really escape yourself. The decision to make it easier on yourself at the expense of others could become a pattern, and follow you the rest of your life. Think of how hard this situation is on your girlfriend. Now is the time to stand by her and be a man. You don't have to rush into a decision. Explore all the facts about all of your options. in order to give you both the time and knowledge to make the most informed decision.

SOME THINGS FOR YOUNG MEN TO CONSIDER

Real men are always doing it, right? Wrong! Movies, TV, and ads make it seem like guys are having sex all the time. Don't buy into the lie! Media execs are interested in making money, not in helping you become a real man. Don't confuse sexual activity with "being a man". You can be good looking, strong, and popular without having sex. In our society, men get a lot of pressure to have sex. But pregnancy, HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases are just a few of the reasons to wait. Want to say no without "losing it" with your friends? Call the Life Center. There are volunteers who can help you deal with the pressure and still be cool.

PORNOGRAPHY

It's exciting.
It's private.
It's easy to find. And it's free.
Pornography.
It's a huge international business and it's just a click away--images on the web to suit every taste and to inflame every desire.

The Lie of Porn
You will never learn the truth about sex from pornography. Porn doesn't deal in truth. Porn wasn't made to educate, but to sell. Pornography is based on lies:

lies about sex Sex with anyone at anytime, any way you want it is OK and doesn't have negative consequences. (That's a lie.)
lies about women Women exist to meet the sexual demands of men. Women like to be degraded and don't mind being forced to have sex. (Another lie)
lies about marriage Marriage and children are obstacles to sexual fulfillment.(Man, is that a lie! Just ask any happily married guy.)
lies about relationships Everyone is doing it. (Wrong. There are lots of really cool guys who care enough about themselves and their girls to wait.)

Are You Addicted?
Involvement in pornography follows a pattern. Not everyone who sees porn will become addicted, but you can't become involved with porn without being affected in some area of your life--physical, emotional, spiritual.

The first step to addiction is early exposure. You see images that provide a strong sexual stimulation that demands release--often through masturbation.

The second step--Over time you need more explicit images to meet an ever-increasing sexual drive.

The third step--You become desensitized. The things you once thought were gross or shocking become acceptable.

The final step--You experience more and more pressure to act out the behaviors and images that you have viewed.

If you see any of these patterns in your life, you need to get out NOW. Is porn becoming more and more in control of your life? Do you have trouble putting it away? Do you keep going back for more?

You need help with this. You can't break free alone. Go to someone you trust and tell that person about your addiction. Don't be afraid. This is your well-being we're talking about. Pick someone who can truly help--a counselor, a youth pastor.

Do you really want to be free? There is hope. And hope lies in knowing a loving, forgiving God who wants to set you free from all things that hold you in this trap. Call us. We want to help.